During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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