Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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