I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
