my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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