oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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