maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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