He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As shirtless as possible
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize