So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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