and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
zippers are such a cool invention
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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