like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
