never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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