I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
