Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
