it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
