We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
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I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Pooping to opera.
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