and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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