woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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