i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
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who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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