considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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