With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize