I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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