With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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