fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
