If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize