The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
