it wasn't lemon gatorade
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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