I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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