dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
