Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
