The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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