Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
