i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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