I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I will die if light touches me.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
