Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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