im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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