Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
