Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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