Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
