so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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