Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
