i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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