We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
