Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
