I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize