I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
