My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize