Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
