His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
