I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
