I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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