I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My life is pants optional.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
