sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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