How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
