TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize